Lexicography
We understand that the esoterica of GSEZ can occasionally lessen the pleasure of the new reader unfamiliar. For their assistance, the following terms generic to GSEZ have the meanings ascribed below. Dedicated to Ambrose Bierce.
Adjusted Strength of Schedule — n., the winning percentage of a team’s opponents for the season, after deducting the wins and losses of the opponents against the team itself, designed to test the overall strength of the opponents against the rest of the league. For example, if team goes 10-6, and its opponents collectively went .500 at 128-128, the Adjusted Strength of Schedule is 122-118, or .508.
Caddyshack Bishop bitter – adj., among the cruelest rank of types of losses/disappointments in sports; cf. the movie “Caddyshack;” syn. first-wife bitter.
DeBerging – intr. v., playing just well enough to get beat.
Leon Russell — n., enough time and step-up space in the pocket for a quarterback; derived from the name of The Master of Space and Time.
Short Drive — n., an offensive possession of either three or fewer plays, or gaining 10 or fewer yards, in each case resulting in no points.
Spine — n., the offensive line of a football team.
Touchdown Drive – a possession in which a team starts no closer than its own 40 yard line (where you’d get the ball after an errant kickoff, BTW) and scores a touchdown in eight or more snaps in the ordinary course of business, no fake FGs or any crap like that. We’re ignoring the flukes.
Witchh Doctor — n., Gregg Williams, the Saints defensive coordinator in 2009.